Replay Mix: “Never Alone” by Jody McBrayer

  

 

C.J.’s Replay Mix | “Never Alone” [ as performed by Jody McBrayer, fea. artist Jadyn Maria ]

Jody McBrayer’s Official Website

 

  


(Video courtesy of YouTube. I think its Jody’s ‘official channel’ but not sure. Love to support musical artists officially when I can!)

{ direct link here }

 

The timing on this song popping up is lovely, ‘cause it somewhat ties into my Topical Post of the week (on ‘rediscovering passion’, located here). So this follows my thoughts, yet takes it a step further and much, much deeper!

My post focused on “writing burn-out” (from stress and too much distraction) . . . but these lyrics are just beautiful and remind me what I’m passionate forbeyond the writing (I DO love it, but I’m MORE, as an artist and a person, than just my writing) right down to my chosen identity that keeps me alive! I’m layers and I’m levels and anyone who really knows me gets that!

Also, a beautiful timing collision ‘cause I just sent a friend a few things I’d penned and one said (by way of a birthday present) how much I admired this friend, that ‘he would seem to fit a common stereotype’ but what I love about him SO MUCH is how he just tosses that stereotype right out the window!! Time and again I’ve seen him break through stereotypes and assumptions like twigs. It’s so effortless with him you can almost miss how truly impressive it is to know yourself so well (as he does).

Life handed him sour lemons indeed (including THREE shattering life losses and a physical drawback) but I’m in utter awe how he comes back from challenges and particularly how he has (back)turned loss into such pure compassion . . . versus letting it embitter him. That’s STUNNING to me when I know the extent of the pain involved.

But, what I focused on was how much I admire and LOVE that he is himself so definitively, and lets none of the circumstances or stereotypes or talents (for that matter) tell him who he should be! This world loves SO MUCH to put people in ‘little boxes’ . . . false impressions form because society tells us, “oh, if you’re THIS AND THIS, well you HAVE TO BE THIS.”

Nope. Not ever. Forget their noise. Never let the world tell you who you are or define you by something you were born with (or that bad circumstances forced upon you). In fact, he was quicker to realize this even than I was. I recall a conversation years ago when he told me, “I needed to let the people who accepted me for me lead the way, and whoever didn’t could take a flying –! Real family is when you are who you are and you’re not only comfortable with it, but you’re downright proud of it.”

I think this is one of the foremost reasons we gel so beautifully. He, not only “plays 100% against type” but he breaks the mold in all respects to be individualistically, uniquely HIMSELF . . . and he taught me how to be uniquely-truly myself as well. What a gift that was! He chooses to love me because of (not in spite of) what the rest of the world doesn’t understand in me and views as my drawbacks. And so, this song about sums it up for me!

‘There’s a passion in me, my heart found its home, {and the very definition of unconditional love} and so, now I’m never alone!

{even when I forget this and feel so lonely and neglected, like I am all alone}.

 

This is my soul-deep anthem as I remind myself, not just digging for the love of what I write again and looking for inspiration deep within, but also how I love them –the Family—and how very, very much they love me.

How they awakened my soul, how they made me come alive and how, with them amidst unconditional love, unwavering belief and support, compassion, brilliance, imagination, my equals in every respect, my life’s cheerleaders and such heartfelt appreciation—I truly am Never. Alone.

My most beloved HL Family, you are all this and more to me!

{ lyrics to the song are below in red, my observations follow them. Sometimes I ‘define’ or ‘hear’ lyrics my way, thus the {-}’s. }

 

In a crowded room alone
Surrounded by the familiar faces of
All these {total} strangers I know

 

Oh—my! THIS! SO! MUCH! THIS!

It’s amazing how often I’m doing exactly that! Love the *WORDING* too, ‘all these strangers I know’ … exactly! Author’s perspective perhaps but—it’s difficult for me to leave the relative “friends” of my book and go out into a world of “strangers”.

How can I put this? The books are just more entertaining than the world out there, usually.

 

I wonder how I got so far from home?
Just wishing I could find my way back to the love and the life I let go!

 

This. Again.

There’s been separation these years, not purposeful. I’ve lamented this so much with trusted and gentle ears that—though neither deliberate or intentional, I’m almost guilty of the sins of neglect and abandonment I used to judge so harshly.

“Keeping the hearth for our family” I once heard it said—and now it definitely falls to me to do. But—sometimes, when blinded by pain or depression, I pull away to sort my emotions when I should most be clinging to!! The love of my family is the constant! It is always and eternally there if I only reach for it!

Loneliness makes that a daily struggle.

 

{Dark & lonely} places I have been
Where I’d give anything for a true friend!

 

I can’t get into this. It wounds my heart.

All I will say to this is that betrayal is the reason I’m actually not guilty of my own neglect. We all needed healing, the whole family: we all took different routes to it, and some of us need smothering, others to pull away.

So that’s okay—but it’s important now to reconnect. To remember loyalty so much trumps betrayal and there is so much more appreciation and love for the loyalty in our family after loss.

 

But I’ve come to know,
His arms {Their arms} are waiting just to hold me . . .

 

They do! I need only think of the beautiful messages I’ve gotten from them recently!

{M} ‘for you, I’ll fight’

{J} ‘you’re on the road to something so good’

{LC} ‘let me be your healer; your knight in shining armor; let me protect you; its what I’m here for’

And those are only the RECENT ONES … lest I ever forget how much I have their full support!

 

I’m . . . SO . . . ALIVE!!
For the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE
There’s a PASSION INSIDE ME!!

 

How do I even break this down—there’s so much truth and beauty and history behind it!!

All I want to say is that the world—it doesn’t know better but it’s always trying to make me be the girl I was {a decade ago}.

And she was fine . . . But, SHE IS NOT ME and NEVER WILL BE AGAIN!! I got no interest in her again EVER!!

I’m alive! I know who I am! And I will never be the same dead girl again!!

THERE IS A PASSION INSIDE ME AND IT BURNS . . . thanks to him! Just couldn’t let me stay dead, couldn’t ya L.C.?? *beams*

 

{With them} by my side . . .
My HEART found its HOME
And I’m never—NEVER alone!!

 

And it’s to THEM, I long to go home.

Oh so weary of this world. I kinda just want to go home now. THEY are my HOME, now and forever!!

(Speaking of passion . . .)

 

Lying awake at night
The noise {and chaos} of the day still echoes on
In this silence I hear {their lies} . . .

 

Ghetto apartment. Slashed tires. Stalker. Financial woes. My book notes stolen right out of my own car. The “real” world doesn’t seem to think I’m worth much.

 

So, I open my heart and I close my eyes
And I can feel the peace {and happiness} come back to me
When I know he is {they are} near

 

They refresh my soul when the world beats me down. They remind me just how beautiful; talented; smart; enjoyable; fun; playful; fascinating; funny; brilliant; awesome; unique; truly loved—that’s how they see me.

Do you know, when I’m with them, I so much believe I am all those things because I can see myself through their eyes of acceptance and love???

 

So many things they never can see!!
Wondering what in the world will become of me?

 

The world out there wearies me sometimes. I get tired of being asked to explain who I am—as if somehow I should know the secrets of my soul, as if I owe the world an explanation because I don’t fit into their perceptions of who I should be.

You know what? I am who I am. Genuine. Straight-up.

And its THEM who can change their perceptions if they don’t like it. No explanations required.

 

But I’ve come to know,
His heart is open and so willing to show me–
{that, because of him,} . . . I am STILL ALIVE!! {Boldly! Awake!}
There’s a fire that burns inside; there’s a passion inside me!

 

You woke me up inside, L.C. Your love was demonstrative and empowering and I never understood it before you showed me. Little did I know I was sleepwalking through my own life ‘til you came and burst my eyes wide open! Honey, you are my family and I will never lose that!

 

Mi corazón (My heart! My love! My life!}
When you’re by my side
My heart has found its home! And I’m never {unloved or} alone!!

 

To quote one of my favorite phrases: “this—is true.” *beams*

 

With you in my heart; oh honey, I can FLY!
Above the darkness of these cold and lonely nights!!

 

It’s a struggle sometimes. Maybe I cry sometimes. Maybe I wish things could be easier, or I could be more “normal” (for a given definition of) or my life was some sort of Pinterest pin-up that all my soccer mom friends could ‘oooo’ and ‘aahhh’ over. Maybe sometimes its wearying to be locked in my own head with worlds only I can see and hear until I finally get to write them down.

But I have no regrets either. Being alive means you can feel pain just as richly as awesome love—and I’ve AM loved so powerfully, some can only dream about!!

 

I’m gonna breathe the free air that brings me to life
I only want to be near you!
My one and only Love!!

 

And I do. Every day, it’s all I want.

 

And I’m never, never alone
I’m so alive; you’re by my side
For the first time in my life, there’s a passion inside me!
My heart has truly found its home!
And with you, I’m never alone!

 

That’s it. Doesn’t matter what the rest of the world sees or thinks. Doesn’t even matter when it hurts the most.

Because my heart has found its home and I’m never alone, nor ever will be.

I Choose Him. Always.

 

Got an anthem of your own?? Something you feel just expresses your own heart and unique individual you??? Share! Share! Share!! 😉

 

A/N: OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER . . . I’m not affiliated with any of these artists, nor do I make a profit from endorsing their music, or intend copyright infringement of any sort. Just a fan and my observations are my own. If you enjoy these artists and their music, please visit their websites and buy their albums to support their remarkable work.

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